First Mutant (firstmutant) wrote,
First Mutant
firstmutant

Bid to Be a Zombie

It's true. You really can buy anything on eBay.

Stephen King

What he's offering: "One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip)."
When you can bid: September 8-18


Michael Chabon
What he's offering: "Your name or the name of your choosing will appear at least once in the next novel I write. I reserve the right not to use the name if it is offensive, mischievous, ill-intentioned or inappropriate."
When you can bid: September 1-10

Amy Tan
What she's offering: "Your name or the name of your choosing will appear at least once in my next novel (to be published in 2007-2008, but subject to date change)."
When you can bid: September 1-10

Peter Straub
What he's offering: "The name of a minor character who will appear in my next full-length work of fiction, which will probably be published in 2007. Bidders are asked to submit their own names only, preferably without middle name or initial, and should be advised that the fictional person who winds up bearing his or her name may be of dubious moral character."
When you can bid: September 1-10

Andrew Sean Greer

What he's offering: "The main character in my novel currently, in a pivotal scene, confronts her rival in a soda shop in 1952 -- want your name on that soda shop sign? Due to the vagaries of the editorial process, the name might be shifted to a restaurant, coffee shop, bar, corset company or other business in another scene, should it suit the author; also, your entire full name is unlikely to be used, more like "Kleinhart's Creamery" or "Emily's Bakery," but your name will indeed be in lights!"
When you can bid: September 1-10

Karen Joy Fowler
What she's offering: "The name of a secondary character in my next novel. The novel is due to be published in 2007, but, as it is not written yet, that can change. The name must belong to a real person who is happy or at least willing to let me use it."
When you can bid: September 1-10

Lemony Snicket
What he's offering: "An utterance by Sunny Baudelaire in Book the Thirteenth. Pronunciation and/or spelling may be slightly 'mutilated.' An example of this is in The Grim Grotto when Sunny utters 'Bushcheney.' Target publication date is Fall 2006."
When you can bid: September 8-18

Dorothy Allison
What she's offering: "Your name or the name of your choosing will appear at least once in my next novel (to be published in 2006-2007). This project is a contemporary literary novel set, mostly, in Northern California, but with some scenes set in El Salvador in the 1970s and references to a farm family from the Midwest in the 1960s. I ask that the name chosen not be one from any of my previous works."

Jonathan Lethem
What he's offering: "I need the name of a Columbia University professor for a comic book I'm writing for Marvel. It can be your name or the name of a friend -- but if it's a friend, I need to hear from them with their permission."
When you can bid: September 8-18

Ayelet Waldman
What she's offering: "Your name or the name of your choosing will appear at least once in the next Mommy Track Mystery featuring Juliet Appelbaum."
When you can bid: September 8-18

John Grisham
What he's offering: "Your name or a name of your choosing will appear as a fictional character in my next novel. The character will be portrayed in a good light. My next novel should be published either in 2007 or 2008. The name you choose cannot be that of a real person other than yourself."
When you can bid: September 15-25

Nora Roberts
What she's offering: "Your name or the name you choose will be used for a character in my novel to be published in 2006."
When you can bid: September 15-25

Neil Gaiman
What he's offering: "My next novel will be called THE GRAVEYARD BOOK. It's a children's novel, and will be published, er, when it's published. Maybe in 2007 or failing that, 2008. It will have lots of gravestones in it. Your name, or the name of someone you love (who won't mind) can be on a gravestone."
When you can bid: September 15-25

Dave Eggers
What he's offering: "The winner will be featured in a strange illustrated story I'm working on called The Journey of the Fishes Overland. The winner, or someone of her/his choosing, will be encountered by the traveling fish in question, as they travel over land. It could also be a family, a house, an address, whatever. I get to decide why the fishes see this person/place, and what's said by/to or done by/to the person/place. This story will be finished and published in the fall. The name/s have to be tasteful and be undisruptive to the narrative. I reserve the right to refuse using a name I find offensive."
When you can bid: September 15-25

Rick Moody
What he's offering: "I am starting a new novel in January of 2006. The target publication date would be 2008 or early 2009. It's a literary novel having to do with stem cell research and chimeras, probably with a comic feel. I promise to give the name to a minor character who appears more than once in the book. Since I don't know who the characters are yet, I can't promise that it's a 'good character' or a 'bad character,' but since I generally have no "bad characters," it will probably be someone reasonably sympathetic."
When you can bid: September 15-25

ZZ Packer
What she's offering: "The name you choose will appear at least once in a novel or short story to be published in 2007-08."
When you can bid: September 15-25
Tags: inanity
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  • You're Invited!

    First Mutant's LiveJournal Halloween Party! The party will begin next Saturday, October 22nd. We'll be playing games, talking about horror…

  • Website of the Day

    Klingons for Christ Unexpected.

  • Defining Nerdiness

    On one of the neurology discussion websites that I frequent, my screen name, Neuronerd5000, was the focal point for an admittedly silly and…